


"Staying in the Dungeons Doing My Homework"

by Zoya1416



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Also plot along with crack, Crack, Gen, The tiniest suggestion of Wolfstar, Werewolves, based on quora question
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:14:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27694676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya1416/pseuds/Zoya1416
Summary: Based on Quora question:"In the Prisoner of Azkaban, Lupin didn’t transform into a werewolf until he was fully exposed in the full moon’s light outdoors. If you don’t transform until you actually see the full moon, why didn’t he just stay indoors each month."Answer paraphrased: "If that's true, Remus could have just stayed in a windowless room on full moon nights and quietly got on with his homework."I know it's not consistent with the books, at all, but I just had to write it.
Kudos: 4





	"Staying in the Dungeons Doing My Homework"

Remus quietly hummed "Philadelphia Freedom" as he finished the last three inches of his essay. McGonagall had assigned two feet on human transformation on Friday afternoon, and he was, as his friends told him disgustedly, such a geek that he'd rather finish it that night than stay up to plan their next prank. 

Well. That wasn't the only reason he was hidden in the dungeon behind a double-warded door that only opened at dawn. The friends who'd discovered his secret might believe he was holed up in the Shrieking Shack tearing at his skin, but this was a double-bluff planned by Dumbledore. He was lead out to the Shrieking Shack by Madame Pomfrey each month, and let out again each morning, with spell-generated shrieks and howls echoing during the darkness. But before the moon rose, he'd slip out and find his true refuge in this small room. It wasn't even cold, for the dungeons. He'd been given a few cast-off, ragged old blankets, and had smoothly transfigured them into a deep red carpet, with gold and red tapestries to block the chill. A thermos of tea sat on the desk, and his bright Lumos gave off a good light. 

After he completed his essay, he started revising for his Charms OWLS. Lily Evans had helped him with this, to James' annoyance. He'd had to spend a good fortnight calming James down and plotting four successful pranks until his friend believed his only interest in her was for her brains. _Then_ James kept wanting him to pester Lily on his behalf, which he had tried half-heartedly, but given up the instant she told him to stop. Lily had wanted to work on her Patronus and she'd succeeded last month, with a beautiful glowing doe. He hadn't, partially because he kept seeing a four-legged, possibly canine-shaped animal begin to form, and immediately dropped his concentration. They both expected Outstanding on Banishing and Disarming. He had a Exceeds Expectations Levitation Charm, and but only an Average Fire-Making Spell. Lily had the reverse competence, and they were teaching each other. 

He scratched his face as a sharp itch crossed below his skin. The full moon didn't transform him, hidden as he was far behind closed doors, but it still irritated him occasionally. He tried hard to prevent clawing, and kept his fingernails as short as possible, but he still had some scars which could not be removed. Since his mother had found the secret to preventing transformation, the scarring had been far less. His father thought the way to keep him safe was to allow him to roam in a warded acre of land, running and howling freely as the beast poured through him. When he was five, a year after his world shattered, Hope had finally persuaded Lyall to move to a house with a deep cellar. The first month he was there, he slept peacefully all night. The Lupins had been furious that no information had been available to help parents of lycanthropes, but research on Dark Creatures was minimal, and mostly centered on ways to kill them. 

It was very late after his revision. He'd gone through his Elton John repertoire while he practiced. Elton was Lily's favorite singer, with "Tiny Dancer" and "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" being two she especially enjoyed. Casting a Tempus, he was surprised to see it was already 2:30. In June, this meant the sun would be up in just over an hour. He might as well not sleep at all, and sprawled down on the blankets he'd conjured into a soft bedroll. The last time he was at a Muggle bookstore, he'd skimmed and discarded "The Chocolate War," (which wasn't really about chocolate at all), "The Dispossessed," (not that interested in the politics), and had purchased "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance," (which wasn't really about motorcycles, but he enjoyed it anyway.) His second purchase was the purely escapist "Jaws," which would probably be better if someone made a movie out of it. There wasn't much left, and he could finish it now. 

Unfortunately it took him longer than he'd planned, and it was 4 AM the next time he cast a Tempus. Madam Pomfrey would no doubt have already made a fruitless pretense-visit to the Shrieking Shack; she'd been very annoyed the last time it happened. Worse, the rest of the Marauders would have been there, too, to help him "recover." If he got to the hospital wing in time he could assure her he was okay before he went to breakfast. 

She was distressed with him for more than one reason, it turned out. 

"What were your friends doing at the Shack last night?" she demanded. 

"Excuse me?" James, Sirius, and Peter only came in the morning. They would never approach his supposedly transformed self. Dread began to spread through him. It was okay for them to know some of his secrets; they'd discovered his "furry little problem" two years ago. But this last space was his and his only, a tiny kernel of self he wanted no one to disturb. Twenty-seven days out of the month he slept with other boys. Just this one night he wanted peace and solitude. Was that too much to ask? Now he'd have to peel that last layer of the onion and tell them. 

"There you are, you bastard!" A hard shove to his shoulder made him wince. He'd scratched it a lot last night. 

"Hi Sirius, what are you - " his best mate shook him and whirled him around. 

"Where were you? You weren't at the Shack last night!" 

"Shut up!" he hissed. There were probably other students in the infirmary; they hadn't checked. 

James was right behind Sirius, and clouted the black-haired boy on the back of the head. "Yes, shut up, Black, and you, Lupin? Where were you?" 

"Ah, well, umm," Remus stumbled. Mentally he cursed himself. He should have had an explanation planned. Now even Peter had skittered up, glaring. 

There was no help for it. "Follow me," he muttered, and lead down to his dungeon bolthole. 

They spent five minutes trying to hex and jinx him, stopping only when they discovered he'd perfected Disarming and Shield charms quite well, and then demanded explanations. 

"It's a second hiding place. In case the Shack is ever explored. Nobody knows about it - nobody _knew_ about it until now except Madame Pomfrey and Dumbledore." 

"But," said Sirius, flicking Remus' nose, "why isn't this like the Shack, all torn up? Are you really not a werewolf after all? Because if you aren't, I'm going to kill you for wasting three years of my time." 

"Why? Because you guys have seemed just fine to me, sneaking off and studying on your own, cutting me out." 

Remus was suddenly furious. They'd found out he was a werewolf in second year, and assured him they were fine with it, had no problems or fears, and yet, almost immediately he'd felt them pull away. They hadn't had as much closeness in the last three years, and he'd pretended he was fine with them. It wasn't like he had other friends, anyway, except Lily very recently. He'd been as much of a prankster as they were, had researched and planned many of them, and yet - they seemed to be keeping secrets from him. 

"I need to know," said Sirius, and backed him into a corner, "why you've been _here"_ and he knocked his forehead sharply against Remus," _ **here**_ down near the Slytherins, studying when we thought you were out alone in agony. Agony!" he yelled, waving his arms. "Explain yourself, Lupin." He braced his arms on either side of Remus, his black hair swinging forward, grey eyes like thunderheads, steely. Remus had visualized, quite pleasantly, Sirius blocking him in like this for a long time, but he hadn't imagined the rage and - hurt? he saw now. 

"Werewolves don't transform when the moon rises. They only transform when moonlight falls on them. I've been staying in the dungeons doing my homework." 

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"But," said James, "then why do you go to the Shack at sunset? Every damn month?" 

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"It was Dumbledore's idea. A final chance to throw off anyone who suspected I might be a werewolf, and I would go to the Shack if for any reason I knew I couldn't get in here one night. Never mind." He'd have time later to explain his longing for solitude, if he didn't have all the world in the time for it after he'd let them down. Then again - "Why exactly are you guys so pissed off?" 

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"Because," said James, throwing his head up at an odd angle, "of this," and as his head snapped down, his arms shot out, his body bowed over, and - were those _antlers?_ \- suddenly a stag stood in James' place. 

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"Yeah, asshole," barked Sirius, and as Remus looked, his other friend curled around and down, and came back up as a large black dog who threw its paws onto Remus' shoulders. 

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"Down, boy!" Remus' brain was going to implode, it really was. His two best friends - wait, where was Peter? A rat perched between James' antlers, with an extremely judgemental glare. "Animagi? You're all Animagi? How - it must have taken you years . . ." he breathed, remembering the human transfiguration he'd been cramming last night. 

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"Three years, Moony," said Sirius, spiraling away from his four-legged form to grab him around the neck. "Three years, so we could keep you company." 

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"But this is brilliant! Animals can't be infected by a werewolf." 

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"We know, you idiot, that's why we did it! Jerk," said Sirius, still looking him in the eyes, the grey eyes now lighter, amused. 

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"Think how many places you can go in the castle as animals - " James scraped an irritated hoof. "Well, you and Peter can, and, anyway, this is wonderful. Thank you. Tell me how you did it." 

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"We will. But you're buying all the chocolate at Honeydukes for the next - three months, guys?" 

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"Six," said Peter, voice just dropping down from a squeak to his normal light tenor, and Remus shook his head regretfully. "Okay, cheapskate, three months. Because this was hard, but it was a lot of fun, too, and we can run at night with you when it's not the full moon, when you can enjoy it." 

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When he could enjoy it. When he wouldn't be out of his head with moon-madness, an instant away from disaster, guided away by his friends. It was the best prank ever. It was beyond fine. It would be glorious. He flicked Sirius on the nose. 

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"Come on, guys, time for breakfast. Race you," he said, darting out of his hiding place. He'd win, he knew he would, because he knew faster ways than they did. He knew hidden corridors and passages almost no one else in Hogwarts did. It would be good to have a map of Hogwarts, he mused. With all the secret passageways and tunnels. And have some way to keep track of everyone, so they could avoid nosy points-taking prefects and professors. A map. He'd been thinking about it, and it could be their next big project. It would be glorious. He slipped into the Great Hall and was pulling sausages from the platter before the trio saw him again. He grinned at them. They'd become Animagi for him. He could start them on a map, a Marauders' map, for all of them.

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**Author's Note:**

> Yes, well, it started as crack and wound up as actual plot. I'm not sorry.


End file.
